Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I was tired of trying and failing.

Some men love anal sex more than vaginal sex. Why?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why is our generation so unhappy?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It’s still here.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why do older people have a hard time using technology?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s here now, writing to you.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

U.S. growth forecast cut sharply by OECD as Trump tariffs sour global outlook - CNBC

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

And the sadness?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

You are like me, then.

Inside Ukraine’s audacious drone attack on Russian air bases - CNN

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

The sadness was still there.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

I just cannot wake up early, even if I sleep on time. What should I do?

Be who you already are.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Trump airs frustrations with Xi and Jerome Powell over elusive economic goals - NBC News

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

How did my ex move on very fast?

I had run out of hope.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.